Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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