Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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