But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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