the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
