ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Holy sore nipples Batman
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
