Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
