I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
