why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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