Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Two words: nipple clamps
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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