I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
