i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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