I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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