Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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