God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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