Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize