To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
