We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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