is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
