Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
