I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize