I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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