I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we're making bets on your personal life
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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