I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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