I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
