you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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