alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
