Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
