He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
