Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
His nipple licking is glorious
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