he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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