hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
