For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
