we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
