Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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