In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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