God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize