Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize