her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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