that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
