It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
