You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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