what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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