if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
