During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
