I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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