I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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