My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
They are going to name an STD after you.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize