Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
