So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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