You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
