Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
