These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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