i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Randomize