On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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