Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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