Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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