Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
