Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
