Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
